2002-02-08 - 1:46 a.m.
Its in the air
You're nearby - I can smell you - taste you on the wind.
My heart beats rapidly...blood pulsing through my veins and my temples ache sensing you.
Every turn of my eyes every glance I expect to see...but you're elusive. This is your game
You're taunting. How do you know when I'm happy so you can come back and put the fear in me again? Why? Why...
Its a game of cat and mouse and I'll forever be the mouse. I wish you'd catch me and kill me...but you play...batting at me with your wretched claws only wounding and amused watching me run.
I glance behind every second...in mockery I feel your hand on my shoulder but its only teh breeze. I can smell your scent, no one else can.
And you live on my fear...you thrive on it. Its your life blood and you return for it. Is it sweeter when I have almost attained happiness? Is that it?
Is your goal to suck the life out of me...to make me fear happiness for its association wiht you so that I might never seek it again?
i can see the rain...the tattered clothes...the rope marks on my arms again...the shining knife....I can hear my own cries. Torment me not - aren't memories enough?
Is there nowhere to hide? Can I ever escape you? Your gaze seems to know no limits and time and time again you're there...like a shadow.
why?
