Some Hurts You Cannot Take Away, Somethings only time heals.

For as long as i can remember i've been a caretaker, a provider, a shelterer and a protector. At times its gotten me in trouble but for the most part i've found it the only beautiful way i know how to live my life. My heart was born and made to soothe, to comfort and to love and i've left what i consider, a beautiful legacy, of doing these things. I may never make a huge impact upon the world, but i've impacted people and it is enough, it is often overwhelmingly enough.

But there are things one slowly learns they cannot heal, breaks in the heart and the facade of our daily armor which no amount of soothing or outpouring of love can take away in an instant. Pain is the building block upon which we learn to appreciate our joys and savour our happiness, a necessary part of life, an inescapable reality and no matter how much one longs to soothe, to please, to help and to take away the hurt in this world, it is an impossibility.

It is not in the moments of my own pain that I generally run into the most trouble. I have learned through time and trial to attempt at the very least to look outside my own moments of suffering and to attempt to appreciate them more for the character building and lessons learned, such an outlook, while sometimes completely unsuccessful, generally eases the burden at least by a few stones. It is the moments however when i look upon a loved one's pain, their hurt, their fear and know that no measure of love, kisses, hugs, soothing or even medication is going to dull the excruciating ache that bears down upon their hearts and their lives. It is an intolerable moment, that longing to take away something which another must go through, the need to relieve suffering that cannot be relieved.

It has been my greatest stumbling block, the feeling that drags me into the deepest pit of heartache, to watch those i love suffer and stand by ineffectually offering what i have but knowing it is insufficient to relieve. I loathe this feeling, i long for more control, more ability, more correct words, more angel touch.

But sometimes only time heals wounds, sometimes one can only stand by and offer to wipe away tears. Sometimes I have to realize that even i can't be superhuman and relieve the pain of all those around me. I don't like that realization.....i wish things were as simple as kissing away a booboo. I wish this didn't hurt so much.