2002-05-04 - 9:59 a.m.

You came to me in my dreams last night. After all this time you arms finally wrapped tightly around me, your lips touched my skin, our hearts soared together at last and I knew completion. It was as if my other half had come home, as if the part of me I've longed for throughout eternity was finally returned to its holy shrine in my heart.

All of life's hardship, all of the ghosts of the past, all of the wounds of my heart were healed in your return to me. I was whole again.

Many many things happened in the dream, some which I recall vividly, some which fade from memory too far to describe. But I woke with that feeling of completion, for a few moments I revelled in the calm, the wholeness and then I slipped back to sleep.

And in the waning hours of the night the choice came. The price had to be paid for the joy we had known. Great tragedy came to those we knew and a choice was set before you. In the breaking light of day my other half was torn once more from its shrine and a wall was erected that would eternally keep us in separation. My heart and soul were doomed to walk eternity incomplete and broken.

I awoke with tears. For a long expanse of time I knew not that these were dreams that had come to me. The ache inside me was real in those moments. My pillow is still damp with the tears.

Fully awake now......I know what must be done.