2004-02-19 - 6:04 p.m.

I held you last night

So small and tender in my arms

Your little smile, tiny hands

The way smiled when I looked down at you

The way you suckled on my breast

My eyes wept silent tears

Tears of joy, tears of sorrow

My eyes could not leave you

Not for a moment, so beautiful, small, mine

I tickled your tummy softly

And you giggled, the little bubbles of spit

Drippling down your chin

I rocked you softly, singing lullabyes

You drifted off to sleep in my arms

And I watched you in peace

You woke and began to cry

I could not silence you, could not give you comfort

I held you, crying with you as you disappeared

Child that may never be mine

I would have loved you all my heart

I would have smiled at your smiles

Dried your tears

For long nights I would have rocked you

Sang to you the sweetest songs

Given you all in love and nurture a parent can give

I held you again last night

So small and tender in my arms

Your crooked smile, your freckled cheeks

The way you accepted me

The way you called me mommy

My eyes wept silent tears

Tears of joy, tears of sorrow

My eyes could not leave you

Not for a moment, so wonderful, so sweet, my child

I tickled your sides and you fell into a ball

On the floor at my feet

We fell into giggles and played

Until spent you fell asleep

And I watched you in peace

You woke and began to cry

I could not silence you, could not give you comfort

I clung to you crying, as they took you away

Child that was once mine

I loved you as if you had come from me

I loved you with all my heart

I smiled at your smiles

I dried your tears

Long nights I rocked you

Sang with you the sweetest songs

Giving you all the love and nurture I knew how to give