Life is a journey, there's no escaping it, no getting off the bus when things get too hard, there's no real hiding even.

Sometimes you're just ready to curl up for awhile, wishing you were a catapillar and the day had come for you to take refuge in your cocoon in hopes of emerging in the future as something more beautiful.

But there's no such reality in our lives. We don't get to cocoon, what is there must be faced and there's little room around it, and if you find your way around it....you won't emerge as a butterfly.

butterflies...

faeries.....

the little girl dreams i've held flutter from my hands. It makes me sad, it makes me want to curl up and hide.

I feel like i walk through life on the other side of a mirror, watching in horror at some of the things happening right now, but i cannot reach through, i cannot effect change. As if my life is lived by another beyond my reach and i cannot even scream to stop it, for no one hears.

Its strange...it hurts...its confusing. I don't particularly care for the feeling to be honest. There are some things that are going really well, perfect, like a dream. I have the best friends now that i've had in years and thank god for that. I have a person i can depend on no matter what, who i can trust beyond what i'd ever thought i'd trust again. So why all the tears? Why all the fear? Why all the confusion? I don't know

Sometimes there are parts of us we cannot control. Sometimes emotions can't so much be reigned in. Sometimes we simply have to hurt and live with it