Essence

When you look deep inside yourself, pass the pre-defined notions of your day to day life and the person you have become, the mold you have poured yourself into...what do you see?

Deep inside you somewhere is the very heart of your person, many will never know what this heart truly says, what it longs for, what it can give, for they ignore it, push it away, deny it life and breath.

Deep inside me in compartments that long have been shut and covered with dust there is a woman who desires to serve. I've always known in some way she was there, always drawn to put the will and want of others before myself, to be kind and soft and loving and compassionate....and yet...

the world told me to grow strong and hard, to give but only in extreme caution, making sure the return was at least mutual if not to my advantage. And so I pushed the part of me that longed to serve and give and sacrifice deep inside, I learned to love the objects of comfort and the stature of my life, the power, the impressed looks on the faces of both friends and collegues.

and something broke, for all that there was a hole deep inside, something missing, a need unfulfilled. And when the walls of falsely built towers fall the hole left inside is painfully exposed. It cannot be denied, must be addressed, must be recognized for what it is.

for I am a submissive, a woman created with a heart meant to serve, a body that craves to its innermost core to please and love and care for others. for a submissive the very moment of freedom comes when others would say she is most jailed, most kept. At the moment that all the trivial worries and inhibitions of daily life have been removed the submissive becomes free, every movement, every gesture and every sound a work of art, a moment of purest contentment and love