2001-03-23 - 04:03 p.m.

Yesterday's rant on disposable things that shouldn't be disposable still stands. Maybe clearer than ever.

I'm worried..terribly worried. He loves her with all his heart and that is so good for him. Wherever he is right now I know he's hurting like hell and I hate that.

He understands what she doesn't...I never wanted to take him away from her in any way. I have always been happy for them in their love. I can see how happy she makes him and I would never want to change that. I only asked for friendship. That's what I gave and that's what I wanted, nothing more nothing less.

I never wanted her place in his life. I never wanted him to part ways with a lover and a child the way I had to. I never wanted anything that threatened her position in his life.

So I'm some online floozy who's come between them now. I don't know wether to run away from his life and leave him alone hoping to make things better or stick around and be his friend through this because he needs friends. I don't know honestly which would be best.

Loving means walking away sometimes and I want what's best for him.