2001-03-27 - 08:09 p.m.

The cool edge of the blade

Catches the light cast from a flickering candle

The light jumps and plays happily on the metal

It turns in my hand

The pressure begins slow and steady

The red shows around the blade

Slowly, now faster it runs

The heart beats faster

It flows steadily now..beautiful and free

It runs over the metal down the hand

The excruciating beautiful sensation rings through

My body relaxes

I control this, I start this exquisite pain

It is mine to end when I so choose

The gorgeous flow of red so beautiful

The piercing screaming blue pain fills me

I can feel this when I can feel nothing else

I can control this when I can control nothing else

There's a terrifying beauty to it

There's a horrifying amazing release